The Joy of Being a Mother (that certain smile…that certain tear)

Posted on March 31, 2007
Filed Under Parenting and Family, Thoughts, Travel | Viewed 1396 times

from my treasure chest of mommy moments memories… (8 years ago…)

That Certain Smile

I was away on official travel for two weeks and my family had been missing me a lot already. The only communications were two phone calls and a few emails. I came home from the airport quite late, and the three small ones were already asleep, exhausted perhaps from waiting too long. The big ones were only too happy to have me back.

While I was embracing my 8-year old, Angela, she woke up in my arms. I could not explicitly describe the emotions of the moment. Her face beamed with pure delight, and with a wide smile of childish innocence, she embraced me tightly. I couldn’t help the tears from falling down my cheeks. There were no need for words a that moment—deep in my heart, I heard all what she wanted to say. She had the assurance that I was home at last. I missed her 8th birthday. Earlier on we had so many plans, but as official travel schedules were meant to be, I had to be away on Angela’s birthday, of all days! I knew she was not happy about it. But that homecoming, that certain smile washed away all the guilt I had for being away on her special day.

That certain smile remains etched in my memory, same as that certain tear…

That Certain Tear

I was surprised one day to find Angela in one corner of the room, tears rolling down her cheeks. But what was most surprising was that she seemed to shut the world from her. No amount of gentle persuasion, prodding, and later on cajoling would make her talk. I later found out that she had a quarrel with Pauline, her younger sister. So hurt was she, that her only solace was herself.

It pained me so much to realize that even I, the most important person in her life was shut out. Not knowing what to do, as it was the first time for me to encounter such, I let her be by herself, every now and then peeking into the room to see what was happening, and having the consolation that the longest time she could be in that state was an hour. I saw Pauline approach her, but she would still not talk nor face her. True enough, after about an hour, she came out of the room with Pauline in tow, as if nothing had happened.

That happened again, twice within a month—at one time she was hiding under the bed covers. I felt I had to do something rather than letting her withdraw into her shell. When she was all right again, I talked with her, told her that it pained me so much not to be able to talk to her. And I thought she loved me so much, why would she shut me out? I also told her that it would be bad for her heart to keep the hurts to herself. She also had to speak out if she felt that her sister was going out of bounds, and she seemed to understand.

The next time I felt that it would occur again, I gently reminded her about my advice, and I saw her try her best to fight off her inclination to withdraw to herself.

That certain tear remains etched in my memory, because for a while I had the fear that my daughter was out of reach.

treasure chest from: www.biblepicturegallery.com

Comments

19 Responses to “The Joy of Being a Mother (that certain smile…that certain tear)”

Kyels on March 30th, 2007 2:20 am

And the joy of being a child is to feel the motherly love that none could buy with all the money in the world.

;D

sexy mom: indeed!
ba on March 30th, 2007 4:17 am

You were once out on my birthday. My 18th birthday at that! Should I be crying too? hahaha.

Kidding.

Love you mamadear.

sexy mom: am guilty, BA, so with the birthdays of your other siblings, vince’s 1st holy communion, even MY own graduation for MBA, and anniversaries, etc., etc. and i would feel bad all the time. am making up for lost time now, and you all know it! mwah
annamanila on March 30th, 2007 10:09 am

Ay,those are poignant scenes very familiar to me. Hirap din talaga to strike a balance between our career and family ano? But I think you did well, given your achieving/bliogging kids. Congrats.

sexy mom: just like you, improving by the day Anna dear!
carlotta on March 30th, 2007 10:10 am

gosh i already miss my mum and she’s only been gone for a few days. will see her again next week though. =)

sexy mom: when we moms hear those words, we are very happy!
pauline on March 30th, 2007 2:55 pm

awww chato’s so so cute! sigh, i wonder if my own mom writes things like this too. perhaps when i already have kids of my own, my blog will be all about them as well!

sexy mom: thanks, Pauline! chato, pau and the rest of the kids say hello!
auee on March 30th, 2007 3:39 pm

Before I accepted the offer of my new job I was considering accepting a job at Accenture UK (which I so wanted to join). Kaya lang Accenture meant travelling most of the time & I’ll be a weekend-only mum. I declined. It’s difficult to be far from your kids, lalo at bata pa.

sexy mom: yeah, as long as we know our priorities, i guess we will not go wrong.
analyse on March 30th, 2007 4:41 pm

know what? i could easily connect to all your mommy stories, it’s like im seeing myself years from now… well, first, i work and i travel too. all of us in our dept travel so i always hear parent stories, like a colleague who missed seeing the very first step of his son… frenchguy who travelled when Louna was only 3 wks old and when he got back, Louna was on tampo mode, crying when she sees her papa and didnt want to be cuddled by him… didnt know before that kids that age could manifest such emotion of tampo.. well, on my side, Louna’s always excited to see me everytime i arrive.. (or baka feeling ko lang to lessen the guilt feeling?)

sexy mom: forget about the guilt feelings, dear…look at my kids, they do not take these things against me (as far as i know…he he he). I can just imagine Louna’s eyes light up when she sees you after a few days being away.
Flor P. Velasco on March 30th, 2007 11:02 pm

one of the reasons why i retired, was because of my kids…i am always away from home from monday to friday….the feelings to be with your kids cannot be replaced by financial or material things….now, i am 24 hours available with them….

sexy mom: good for you, 24 hours available for them! financial and material things fade away….love does not!
dimaks on March 31st, 2007 12:34 am

ahh.. I must forever admire and be thankful for mothers’ irreplaceable love and care.

sexy mom: thanks – that’s nice “mothers’ irreplaceable love and care”.
Jayme on March 31st, 2007 3:02 am

Right now, I can only imagine the struggle of having to choose between work and family. I really wish I can be there for my daughter all the time as my mom was for me when I was growing older. I still don’t know how to resolve that. Being a mom will definitely be my toughest challenge yet.

sexy mom: don’t worry you will be a great mom for Baby Jamaine! how is she doing now?
tofubaby on March 31st, 2007 5:27 am

Thanks for sharing the memory, tita dine. I wonder what’s the most memorable moment I gave to my mom….

sexy mom: am sure, there were a lot of memorable moments you gave your mom! you know for us mom, every small step, every achievement, big or small, even each smile…each tear…they are forever etched in our memories!
lady cess on March 31st, 2007 9:10 am

hmm… i would keep this in mind when my kids are older and it’s my turn to experience these stuff
nao on March 31st, 2007 12:51 pm

i received your email tita, yeah.. be calling you as soon as i get there.

P.S.
pwede na rin po bang makitulog sa inyo ahaha!

see you very very very soooon

sexy mom: sure, NAO, extra bed, hmmmm
haze on April 1st, 2007 3:47 am

I can imagine how hard for you to leave on her special day but you didn’t have the choice. You have some other responsibilities outside to fullfil but I guess you can make up with her! You are a very courageous Mother and I admire you for that!

It’s always difficult to torn between children good thing you didn’t take sides..

sexy mom: that was how i learned to be tough in the inside, gentle in the outside!
Rach on April 1st, 2007 4:45 pm

I realize that it must have been hard to be a working mom when your children were fast growing up. But I’m sure they realize now that you did it all for them.

I guess that children are different and special in their own way. Some may be more secretive while others may be very open.

Thank you for sharing that memory in your life.

sexy mom: you are right! different child, different act.
and yes, now i am making up for lost time, but they have never taken it against me at all.
Gypsy on April 1st, 2007 6:36 pm

This is one of the many reasons why I love yours and Annamanila’s posts—-the mommy 101 lessons, even if I might not get to be a mom, I can still show some mommy love to my nieces…and posts like these help!

sexy mom: with such comments, Annamanila and I are already happy. we are happy to be touching other people’s hearts, right Annamanila?
tina on April 2nd, 2007 11:52 am

nice memories.. memories to cherish and remember…

ahh the joy of being a mother…. and the joy of being a daughter having a mother sweet as you. hehehe

sexy mom: yes, such joy…
ces on April 4th, 2007 12:44 am

oh no! you almost made me cry! i felt for you and angela…guilty too that i almost always take my younger son’s side when they fight and i know she knows…don’t get me wrong though, i love ‘em both but the little one seems so helpless everytime they do fight..and still manages to have that charisma to pull off a naughty face yet so cute! you can’t help having a soft heart… thanks for the great post!

sexy mom: yeah, it’s very difficult, but as much as possible, i do not take sides.
rhodora on April 10th, 2007 8:23 pm

Oh, Angela must be a sensitive girl. This post made me teary eyed.. Dine, you are amazing! How can you balance everything, attend to all your children, when there are seven of them. And here I am, complaining with only three!

Hay! dami kong na-miss sa blog mo! Tagal kong di nadalaw dito.