It Must Have Been So Hard for Michelle to Leave

Posted on February 19, 2007
Filed Under Parenting and Family, Thoughts | Viewed 4616 times

I called up my bank this morning looking for Michelle. Michelle was the ever efficient and ever pleasant accounts officer that I have dealt with. She is not only pretty, she is very pleasant as well. I was dismayed to find out that she has left the bank, not for another company or to be a full time mother, but for the USA. I learned that she left by herself, leaving her husband and 2 kids (2 and 5 years old) behind.

During the occassional visits I made to the bank the past few months, we would always talk about raising up children. I would listen to her talk about tutoring her kids no matter how tired she was, how they would spend their weekends together, or how she would just like to devote her time to taking care of her small kids. So sad, because she has to go away, for greener pastures maybe. It must have been very hard for Michelle to leave. If she is lucky, she will be able to get a working visa. That’s what she told her fomer officemates. She could now be roaming the banks of New York, applying for jobs, or taking part time jobs in between in Filipino supermarkets in California, or San Diego restaurants, or doing secretarial jobs in Manhattan.

Michelle for me, represents the plight of many Filipino mothers, who take the ultimate sacrifice of leaving their families behind for financial gains, to fulfill their ambitions of a comfortable life, sending the children to good schools, and saving for the future. But sometimes I just wonder, is it worth the sacrifice? The essence of a family is being together. A lot of Filipino families have become fragmented because of parent migrations. I just hope that soon Michelle will be reunited with her family, for good, either in USA if she succeeds in getting a working visa, or wherever it may lead her. Just as long as they are together, AS ONE FAMILY.

Comments

23 Responses to “It Must Have Been So Hard for Michelle to Leave”

Sidney on February 19th, 2007 10:55 am

Maybe the middle class has the option to stay in the Philippines but for the very poor there are (alas) no other options. What are the alternatives here? Being a maid/yaya in a rich family and earn (even) less than 3000 pesos a month… how can you raise a family with that? Going abroad might be the only option for poor people. It is indeed sad !
verns on February 19th, 2007 10:56 am

Hi Sexy Mom

It’s a sad truth but I guess we all try our best to provide a better quality life for our family. For Michelle..probably that’s her solution. Sayang…mababawasan na naman ng competent na employee ang industry.
noemi on February 19th, 2007 4:03 pm

It must have been a hard decision for her to make. Only she knows what her family needs. I can imagine her dilemma. So many times I wanted to leave my kids to go to the states and just vacation for months and months but I couldn’t. I kept thinking of their needs. Young children need their moms. I am not judging her or other mothers like her. But if that were me, I would stay with my kids.
pining on February 20th, 2007 4:25 am

Reminds me of my friend; she left her 5 kids; not because of economic reason but because of her abusive husband (she’s been made into a punching bag).. now she’s working on getting her kids to join her in New York but it’s a constant battle.. sad really
ann on February 20th, 2007 6:23 am

It’s really hard to leave your family behind specially your very own kids. As a mom, napakahirap talaga. Some say, what is the use of being together as a family if you can’t provide them what they need?

I think it’s better if the husband will go abroad and the mother will stay with the kids.
KK on February 20th, 2007 7:19 am

Being single coming to US was difficult enough but I couldn’t imagine how difficult it must have been for a mother to leave her children so that she can provide a better future for them. I hope she finds a job that will help her process her papers.
eric aka senor enrique on February 20th, 2007 7:40 am

Unrguably the most tragic part—being separated from loved ones. If she doesn’t have a working visa in the States, she’d end up in a really precarious situation vulnerable to abuse by unscrupulous employers. Sad.
mr nice ash on February 20th, 2007 8:50 am

probably the hardest decision to make – to leave your loved ones. i wish to God to bless her on her journey.
hazel on February 20th, 2007 9:30 am

i have an aunt who also left for HK for the same reasons. She is raising kids not her own leaving my cousins in the care of a yaya…mas malaki daw kasi ang kita. In my opinion, i dont think its worth it. di matutumbasan ng pera ang lungkot away from the family.
Belle on February 20th, 2007 11:16 am

hmmm, i can understand why she chose to leave her children. i would only go to that extent if there is someone i could trust to care for my children, maybe, my mother, mother-in-law, and aunts who are close to my kids and would treat them like their own. i would only do it for the sake of my kids’ future, hopefully to break the poverty barrier.
Christianne on February 20th, 2007 2:50 pm

That is a very hard decision for a mom to make, and I can’t imagine what the kids must be thinking. They’re old enough to miss their mother but not old enough to understand.
KD on February 20th, 2007 6:55 pm

It’s sad that your friend has to make that decision. IMPOV kaya nya nagawa ito kasi sa hirap ng buhay sa pinas her family might have a better chance abroad. I do wiss them well.

Someone said that The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
iskoo on February 21st, 2007 12:30 am

i am sure there are pros and cons for such move. tama ka lets just hope na ma reunite sila ng family, iba talaga kapag sama sama sila sa hirap at ginhawa.
vic on February 21st, 2007 4:35 am

I have so many friends at present who took the risks years ago by themselves to work here on contract and were granted landed status after two to three years of satisfactory employment and most wereable to establish a stable and secure lives and brought along their relatives (parents, spouse and children and siblings) and there were a few who’se family life were altered for good. But to most, the risk is worth compares to their prospect back then and even now.
Connie on February 21st, 2007 4:01 pm

@Sidney. Even a lot of middle-class folks are leaving. It’s a pervading atmosphere of pessimism about the future.
Sexy Mom on February 22nd, 2007 8:40 am

it must have really been hard to Michelle to leave. but as you all mentioned, there could be many reasons, and part of that is the country’s economic situation. so sad…
luiza on February 22nd, 2007 11:51 am

I’ve thought of leaving before.. the thought of leaving my boys behind was a sad enough thought.. I looked for another option.. and that’s what I’m doing now… be in nursing school so that I can bring them with me when the time comes…
A Happy Home is Better than a Clean House | The D Spot on February 23rd, 2007 9:05 am

[...] a year ago, but thanks to emails, we have remained connected. Reacting to an earlier post about Michelle, she said she felt so blessed because when they migrated to Canada, they left as one whole family. [...]
Happy International Women’s Day | The D Spot on March 8th, 2007 8:27 am

[...] toast to us Pinoy women, especially to our overseas foreign workers, the Michelles, our present day heroes, who have taken the ultimate sacrifice of leaving their families children [...]
Dexter on March 10th, 2007 9:51 pm

Yup . Really it is very hard if an OFW worker is separated from their Family. I am one of the blessed OFW because my children is growing up with me in KSA.
Sexy Mom on March 10th, 2007 10:14 pm

hi, Dexter. your family is lucky—you are together! thanks
vk on April 10th, 2007 3:07 am

hi dine,

i don´t know, but it is not easy also here in abroad….
going anywhere, without a place to works….it is not easy…..

esp in the land, where the languages is not english….it is not easy.
it is so very hard…...i experienced this when i arrived here.

yes, we earn euros here, but we spend euros too…...

it´s also very expensive here, everything we must pay….eventhough the water runs on top of our house…pagbaba sa lupa….babayaran din namin yan….taxes

going abroad searching for a job, its not easy ….many are also jobless here….
na ja, when we don´t select, what kind of a job….as what you say, clerks in supermarkt or any….

siguro meron, but how long and what?
do i have an insurance, do i work permanently? or mini-job lang….

this is true…..whatever we learned there in Phils. we started from the lowest job…..except, when we have a job from there, and we send from the company abroard….yon siguro.

but, here, searching for a job….i don´t know…..

how about the board n lodging?...who supported us?....it is nice when anybody here, where we can live as long we have no jobs….

But, everybody here are busy, busy searching for money…...time here is Gold…..and no body can stay at home without a job…..
do you have a place on their flat?

And there is no Maid-Yaya or any, can help our household chores here…
We can´t say, please watch my kids, pls, clean my house, cooks my foods….and etc…...nobody….

yes, they says, Asian people are very industrious…kahit ano daw, we works it…overtime here and there,,,,egal what kind of works…..Ok lang daw.
masipag daw tayo….no eeekkkk

..... go abroad or works abroard for greener pastures , reasons for the future of our family…...but how about the kids left behind?

ok, marami ka ngang pera,,,,but how about your kids?...is your kids whom you left, is still your kids when you come back?.....hope so.

Here, it´s nice when our husband works outside germany for a yr.or couple of yrs. the family go with…...with all the benefits paid by the company….
it is nice kung ganito din sa atin kaya….

sa atin, kawawa ang anak natin…..minsan pa pag-uwi ni Mrs-.Mr. iba na ang nakatira-....duplicate?????

I would only say,,,...Lucky are those who go out in the Phils. and find a green pasture right away, without hardship——

sabi pa nga….kabit sa patalim?.....

i am sorry, ewan ko…....

we are lucky only, we have our husband , and Thanks to God, he has a good job who supported us…....

I pray for your Friend….hope everything is ok…..she has a luck…...

god always with her….....

sexy mom: am always happy to receive something from you, vk! and i am always touched—thanks, dear new friend. i would like to share this comment with my readers, is it ok with you?
vk on April 10th, 2007 3:22 am

hi dine,

i am sorry what i write here, this is only my opinion and observed here…..

and true exchanging exp. with some friends, anywhere, europe or USA.

sabi pa nga TRIALS AND ERROR or Works and Works para daw ma-successful….

oo nga, pero kung parang Sugal na lang…ewan ko….

sabi pa….susugal daw para manalo…..ewan ko rin…...
sana manalo…...kung talo??????

For me, a Family is not a Game…..

i am very sorry, what i write here …...negative thinking ako, or telling negatives…..

Opinion ko lang po ito….sa akin lang po ito…......