The D Spot

Opening Up–discussing finances

In the past, it was quite difficult for me to open up to my kids about any financial issues in the family. It was like financial issues were not their problem–why bother them at all. As long as they were able to go to school, have an allowance, buy their books, have clothes, a little comfort, go to the malls on weekends, buy what they fancy, dine out on special occasions and after going to church, I thought it was all right. When budget was low, I did not have to tell them, sometimes I just had the alibi that Mommy did not feel like going out, or let us just stay home. Why stress them out, I thought.

The kids have grown up, have minds of their own, and must be prepared for the realities of life–easy or harsh. Expenses of course had grown, couple this with the continuing increase in the cost of living. There was one point in time that I was deep in debt, but the children still did not know the situation. Whatever family income we had, and savings I had from my numerous official travels abroad all went toward the children’s expenses and paying off debts. It was a constant issue between me and my husband who believed that we had to live within our means and that the children should be aware of the family’s financial situation. I thought so otherwise–I thought that the children deserved to be comfortable in life, as whatever sacrifices we made were for them. We also had to be responsible for their material needs. Not that my children were spoiled or spending too much. I knew that they just had enough, I just did not want them feeling in want, or feeling neglected. That went on for many years until I took early retirement.

A Wake Up Call

Living on a pension and my husband’s salary in the first few months that I was not earning was a wake up call for me. What if something happens, and my children are left with little or nothing at all? How will they survive, not knowing how to deal with the harsh realities in life? Slowly, I talked with them, slowly, we started doing away with unnecessary expenses, unnecessary trips, unnecessary comforts. I realized, too, that no amount of money could replace a parent in their lives. My being physically present made it easier for them to understand. I thought when I was still working that I could manage a balance–traveling and being away most of the time, leaving them with financial and physical comforts. Yes, I was able to do so, before it was too late, perhaps.

Physically Home–doing things together

Now that I am home, we are all able to enjoy each other’s company, do activities together, which are not always associated with money and spending. We had an emergency family meeting in June in which we were able to identify an action plan by which we could save money, and I must say that we have fairly stuck with our resolutions.

And there is more to it now, like:

• Every now and then the kids bond together, as they did when they were small ones, sleeping in the living room–the couch, the floor without air conditioning, while I work away during the evenings.
• We huddle close to each other, watching TV,  VCDs/DVDs rented from Video City (we have agreed as much as possible not to indulge in pirated VCDs/DVDs.
• We go to CRIBS on Sundays for our advocacy–taking care of orphaned and abandoned babies.
• We eat more often at home, sometimes we prepare the food ourselves–it’s crazy you know, and fun.
• The kids take lesser trips to and from school, waiting on each other rather than being picked up separately.
• The kids have learned to take public transport, like the jeepney and MRT. UP is very near our home.
• The kids buy their own school supplies, sometimes not requesting for reimbursement anymore. They do not mind if their allowance is cut when budget is short.
• If they do not forget themselves, the kids turn off the computers, lights, and appliances when not in use.
• The kids bring baon to school, rather than spending their money on school food. At home, junk food and soda are no longer part of the grocery list.
• We all have come to appreciate home, each other’s company, and the company of our doggy.
• The kids bring their friends to our home for group work or just hang out.

Changing Life Style–but not entirely

There is no need to entirely change the family lifestyle in these difficult times. It is just a matter of knowing how to make adjustments here and there. It is being open to every member of the family and seeing the blessings in each challenge, and acting positively rather than moping. Happiness is not only material comfort–they all know that. What makes the difference is the LOVE and understanding that emanate from each one.

Oh yes, the kids still go out with their friends for movies, parties, and out of town trips. They either spend from their savings, volunteer to share part of the expenses, or ask money from us if they have none. I was told by my brother in the US that when he chats with my kids, they would always say how hard working their parents are. At least, they acknowledge and appreciate the sacrifices we do for them.

Times are Hard–save save, save!

Sometimes they share stories from school, like there are really very poor students in UP, like some of their classmates also share the same stories–that their parents tell them how difficult life is nowadays. Everyday they monitor the price of gas against the price of oil in the world market, rejoice when there is a significant rollback in the price of gas. They have helped decrease the electric bill from P15th/month down to P8th/month, the water bill from P2th/month to P1.5th/month. They would even bring home empty bottles of iced tea, water or juices that they used, so that the household helper can have extra money by selling them. They have significantly cut on their cell phone loads, though they still keep their unlimited texting budget, which when 6 kids multiplied by 30 days and by the amount of pesos would still be something. Well, if I am not mistaken, cell phone loads have become part of the Filipino’s regular package of expenses in calculating GNP.

I am so proud of my kids. I do not spend a lot of money on them for clothes, not even any jewelry, nor gadgets. The only expense that I cannot bring down, and this is non-negotiable, is the cost of their tuition fees, studying at the Ateneo, UP, Miriam College and the youngest in Claret. And internet connection, computers and related services.  I know they strive hard in school, and I know in my heart of hearts that they truly understand why we imbibe these traits in them. More so, they are aware of the current global crisis, which they know will soon hit our country hard, too. Better that they be prepared, rather than be caught unaware, then not know how to deal with a similar situation in their lives when it comes.

Thanks, Mox, BA, Vince, Chato, Pau and Alan Jr–dad and mom love you so much! We are so proud of you!

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