A Happy Home is Better Than a Clean House

Posted on February 23, 2007
Filed Under Friends, Fun, Parenting and Family, Poetry, Thoughts | Viewed 1592 times

I may not see my friends more often these days, now that I have retired. But somehow I have left them a legacy—my popular motto, “A happy home is better than a clean house”.

Just this morning, S, one of our barkadamates (circle of close friends) emailed us from Canada. She and family have migrated to Canada about a year ago, but thanks to emails, we have remained connected. Reacting to an earlier post about Michelle, S said she felt so blessed because when they migrated to Canada, they left as one whole family (3 teenaged girls and a baby boy). She said that after reading about Michelle, she suddenly wanted to have a dementia attack, for her recent grumbling and unseemingly un-nice behaviour.

Recently, she said, she would have fits of “full moon” or “menopausal” attacks, out of physical exhaustion perhaps, that she would suddenly blurt out on any family members. Since there are no housemaids, household chores are distributed among the members of the family. And maybe, being the mother that she is, she does bulk of the chores. S said she felt so humbled—come to think of it, Michelle has sacrificed leaving behind husband and two small kids, while she has all her family members with her. Physical exhaustion, like housework, is trivial compared to the emotional travails awaiting Michelle.

Two of our barkadamates, B and F immediately emailed back. They observed that we moms multitask at home and at work, sometimes under stressful conditions paticularly in the office, such that more often than not, we tend to forget about our own personal time. We put in the backseat the time we need to spend for ourselves, for reflection, for pampering ourselves, and for doing things that we like doing to keep our sanity intact, resulting to hot headedness, impatience, and burn out. F also mentioned that apart from feeding our minds and bodies, we should also feed our souls, that seem to be neglected most of the time.

B and F then reminded M about what I have always been telling them, that a happy home is better than a clean house. Yes, we need to keep the house clean, but not to compromise the health and happiness of the family. It should not always be “ayos nang ayos, linis dito, linis doon, luto dito, etc.” (never ending cleaning, arranging, cooking, etc.). These are never ending tasks anyway, so we should find time to rest. Never mind if for a while the house is cluttered. B even advised M that if the others are sleeping, she might as well also sleep. When they wake up, well then, they have to help each other prepare the food and the table.

So there, B and F are already talking like the cool Sexy Mom. Happy weekend, dear friends and readers. Spend the time with family, or spend time to pamper selves (a soothing massage perhaps, or a dip in the pool, or a movie, maybe even a long long sleep). Let us be happy and let love pervade our homes.

This poem, which I will read out in my creative writing class tonight, is for all of you:

LOOK…
look at my house
curtains and sofa do not match
cluttered, books here and there
broken furniture
beds not made
shoes, slippers everywhere

LOOK…
look at my garden
grass has dried
fallen leaves everywhere
dogs barking noisily

LOOK closely…
Can you see the smiles?
Can you see the kids laughing in glee?
Can you see the contented faces?
Can you see the love in our hearts?
Can you see my “home”?

Comments

25 Responses to “A Happy Home is Better Than a Clean House”

mr nice ash on February 23rd, 2007 11:04 am

I remembered a motto that I read when I was in kindergarten.

a home without a house is better than a house without a home.

I kept asking my dad, what does it mean? a home and a house are the same, aren’t they? my dad kept on explaining and i really did not get what he means.

years passed and i was still keeping those words on my mind. and one time when i was in grade school, i just realized that ‘home’ and ‘house’ can be different. home could mean a family, or any place you find your comfort. it is where your heart is. house is just a house. a shelter. the material place.
zeroimpact on February 23rd, 2007 11:28 am

A very interesting motto there and I believe in a happy home too instead of anything else of the home
I guess home is the one we should aim for not the house
Belle on February 23rd, 2007 11:36 am

Dine,

Love your poem! I am in the same boat. In life, some things are important than others. Relaxation comes first for me. Cleaning can wait.
jangelo on February 23rd, 2007 11:44 am

When I become king, I will create a decree that everyone should keep their houses clean.
dimaks on February 23rd, 2007 2:23 pm

Keeping the ties and relation is very noble.. and so do spending quality times with the family. I agree sexy mom.
vic on February 23rd, 2007 2:42 pm

My kid sister is the other way around. since getting married she has never work for a living instead stayed home and tend for her 2 boys and my niece bibs. Dec. 05 they immigrated to the states and she decided to go back to the work force to augment the family income as the kids are getting ready to enter post high schools.

Back in Philippines, they have a beautiful house and a happpy home, now in the states they are living in a cramped apartment, but still equally a Happy home, and I keep teling them the house will be easy to get later, keep up the home….
BA on February 23rd, 2007 8:15 pm

Hmmm. Pero bakit ka laging nagrereklamo na laging magulo yung apartment namin?
rhodora on February 23rd, 2007 10:31 pm

Oh, I like this! Haha! There was a time, I became so OC, and I would trail each of my hubby and kids whereever they went in any part of the house, picking their litter, fixing a cushion and all. Sobra! But then, at the end of the day, I was not happy because I was dead tired, I wasn’t even able to watch tv, and didn’t even get to enjoy my meals.
annamanila on February 24th, 2007 12:11 am

Yes, yes, yes. Thanks Dine for that. I feel vindicated .. I blog and read and write and scrabble away as the dust gathers. Eh sabi—okay daw if you can write ‘I LOVE YOU’ in furniture thick with dust.
Steven Novak on February 24th, 2007 3:57 am

My motto has, is and always will be…wipe thouroughly.

Steve~
haze on February 24th, 2007 3:58 am

I agree those are never ending tasks! We should sometimes breath and take care of ourselves too. Lalo na tayong mga Moms we should not neglect what our body needs, what we desire doing ! It is also important to go out, have fun you will see parang nawala lahat ng pagod. it doesn’t mean that if we go out we will forget our responsibilities at home! Stay Zen ! Having a clean house doesn’t mean it’s an unhappy home, I guess it’s just a matter of time management too and doing their share at home.
Shari on February 24th, 2007 4:18 am

I should probably ask my mother. I know she gets headache whenever she comes home from work and see what a mess our house is, hehe.

But I love and completely agree with your motto.
jangelo on February 24th, 2007 4:43 am

Together, we will chase it around perdition’s flame!
niceheart on February 24th, 2007 1:52 pm

I agree with you, sexy mom. It’s really hard without househelp so I also distribute chores to all family members even the little ones. There is always clutter in the house, it can’t be help. And we usually only tidy up when there’s company coming over. I’d rather spend time with the children than spend the whole day cleaning.
Lazarus on February 24th, 2007 3:06 pm

Agree ako dito. I don’t clean the house kasi eh. I’d rather see happy faces than a grumbling face complaining about the unwashed plates.
Chateau on February 24th, 2007 6:07 pm

Like you, I’m not a neat-freak too. With kids around, there will always be clutter (the most valid excuse of all! haha).

I’ve been to some homes which were so ornate and orderly na parang museum na LOL! In one home, the kids aren’t allowed to play or run around in the living/dining area because they might break mom’s vases or busts… Eeek.. I pity her kids.
ann on February 24th, 2007 8:11 pm

One thing I noticed here in our place, families are really close, they have more time together. Maybe because there are no bars, movie houses, no night life..etc.

The only problem I can see is many women at 40’s get pregnant. I hope di ako mapasama…hehehe.
chase on February 24th, 2007 9:01 pm

I dunno coz I noticed here that most people both have a clean home and a happy home. Coz they manage to teach their children to behave properly and clean up their own messes. They even play together with the children after work. That is how I will raised my children soon. Balancing is always essential!
KK on February 25th, 2007 4:42 am

I like the poem. It would be nice to have it framed and hung by the door. It’s quite a challenge to keep the house clean and uncluttered all the time. As long as I have the kitchen and bathroom clean, I shouldn’t stress over making the house immaculate.

I know someone who has OCD with regards to a perfect house(matching everything), wants the house clean like a whistle, doesn’t even cook because she doesn’t like to dirty the kitchen! I feel very uncomfortable in the rare times that I go.
eric aka senor enrique on February 26th, 2007 6:38 am

I think that a happy home will eventually inspire a clean home, but not to the point of an obssessive behavior.
Rach on February 26th, 2007 9:52 am

Hi Dine. Thanks for sharing that nice poem. I agree, a house doesn’t really have to be spic and span to be considered a good home. It doesn’t have to be color coordinated or look as cool as those you find in lifestyle magazines. The more important thing is the happiness the eminates from the people who live inside the home.
vicky lamberz on February 27th, 2007 1:45 am

I agree on this…..this is my motto too,,,,
I am not like some woman or man, cleaning here and there, everything is proper place, cobwebs there and here,
matching all the setting and etc.

for me, A Happy Home is Better Than a Clean House…...........

for me, My Family, Togetherness, Communication and Respect is the best…...
Thanks for sharing this Post…...
princess on March 1st, 2007 10:54 pm

I say: AMEN!
(Natutuwa akong malaman na hindi ako nag-iisa). Love your poem!
Princess
Regina G. Posadas on March 6th, 2007 4:03 pm

Dear Ms.Racoma,
I love your motto “a happy home is better than a clean home”. So I wrote to ask if i may interview you for an article I’m doing about housecleaning shortcuts. Being a mother of 7, and having such a bright and practical motto, i believe you could offer valuable advice and insight to readers. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon. Hopefully before Friday, March 9, 2007 as that’s the deadline of my article. God bless you!
Sincerely,
Regina G. Posadas
0917.7377340
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