It feels like I am starting anew–groping to write a personal blogpost. Oh yes, I have been writing on socio-political issues with Blogwatch, but it has been months since I have written a real blogpost, one that speaks of what I have in my heart, one that speaks of what is me.
I have been wanting to write a blogpost to accompany my thanks to my friends and dear ones who greeted me on my birthday, even to those who have forgotten to greet me, to those who greeted me belatedly, to those who have greeted me half-heartedly, and to those who greeted me for the sake of going through the motions (no pun intended). Nevertheless, thank you dear all!!!
The past few months have been very hectic for me in terms of work, and in terms of the many tasks of moving to a new home, and the many decisions to make and the stresses attached to it. On the very Ondoy Day, we decided to move out of our home for 13 years from Maginhawa Street in Teachers’ Village to our new address in Loyola Heights in QC. We moved out the next day, 2 weeks early (since we were to move out anyway, and since the boys’ pad was flooded (by a few inches only, the very first time this happened).
And the rest is history–we are better situated now, the kids are happier, our place is nearer their schools and it is more convenient for all of us.
I have been amiss in my emails, in Facebook, in Plurk, even in meeting up face-to-face with friends that I keep. I have ceased being online 24/7 (my byline–online almost 24/7 to serve the needs of my clients….and friends). I must have been drowning…drowning…drowning…at work maybe? No, I have been sleeping…sleeping…sleeping…
…and literally and figuratively–I have stopped and smelled the flowers!
It is never too late to do so.
Literally…
I have now my own pocket garden (not really my own as I share it with the rest of the family and Mucci). Simple plants and flowers to start with–low maintenance, just sun, water, and lots of TLC (thanks to Monica). Nice chimes, comfortable chairs, scented candles…
Time stops when we take time to appreciate the flowers (and the plants), talk about them, talk to them flowers (and them plants)…and talk to each other (them kids) and listen to beautiful music (with its magic…with its mystery). Time stops when we sit down comfortably to read magazines, books–together while Mucci plays around or lazes around, or by my loneself…time just stops…my mind just stops thinking…my brain stops working…and I doze away…while time flies…while the rest of the world goes by. This is the advantage of having one’s own sweet time…of early retirement (but not–as I still have my wonderful home job).
Figuratively…
In a span of a few weeks, I have discovered a lot of things–things that have always been there but taken for granted, things that have always been thought to be very important but have become meaningless, things that have always been there but suddenly gone, things that I have thought to be mine but in reality were not, things that I thought were real but not, and many others. Btw, when I say “things”, I don’t mean “just things”. Things may be people, things may be occasions, things may be live, things may be inanimate … and yes, things may be “just things”.
I have learned that happiness is indeed a choice, and not dependent on other people. Why not? I am surrounded by family. I have friends. I have good neighbors. I have my advocacies. I own my time and I am free to do what I like within the norms of decency, ethics and religion.
There is always time for every thing. There is time to set aside the frustrations, the expectations gone to naught, the hurts, the pains, and the many things that bother us from day to day.
Yes, I will continue to smell the flowers…there will be no more expectations for me, no more frustrations–all else positive that come out of my life are now bonuses. If I could…I would.
And I thank the good Lord for another year. Though belated, happy birthday to me!
Next year, I will be 53!
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6 responses so far ↓
Beng // Feb 21, 2010 at 7:30 am
You deserve all the happiness and joy in this world Dine. You deserve to feel the beauty of life. You truly are an inspiration
. All the best!
Ted Wahler // Feb 21, 2010 at 9:15 am
Dine,
It is nice to see you back spinning lyrical phrases into tangible visions. You are a great writer and one to look-up to and try to emulate. I do.
As we enter into the second half of our lives we become a bit more reflective having lived through this and that along the way and now having something to reflect on. Remember the victories and forget the discomfort of lessons learned. Right or wrong we are who we are and are always learning and changing along the way.
What is in the past is simply in the past as the future is wide open for us to make of what we can. Forgive yourself and forgive others and don’t forget to acknowledge yourself and acknowledge others at every opportunity.
Keep safe. Be well. Enjoy!!
ps: this is what currently amuses me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwVVpwBKUp0
almond m. duldulao // Feb 23, 2010 at 12:21 pm
To my wonderful boss! Happy Birthday, Dine! You are a blessing to me and many others! Seriously, I cannot imagine people greeting your HBD half-heartedly. It’s just not possible. Love this blog. Love that you have a colorful pocket garden. GOD BLESS YOU MORE AND MORE.
Despite Ondoy, despite Haiti, despite Chile…life has to go on (help save Mother Earth) | The D Spot // Feb 28, 2010 at 2:50 pm
[...] save the environment, as trees and plants absorb carbon dioxide and give off oxygen, but they also de-stress and soothe the mind and the body. Try [...]
Meikah Delid // Feb 28, 2010 at 11:25 pm
Yes, we need to stop and smell the flowers from time to time. It will give us the chance to regroup. I’m glad you did!
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