The Scratcccchhhh! A Story of Love and Forgiveness

Posted on December 5, 2006
Filed Under Parenting and Family | Viewed 1485 times

Last Thursday classes were suspended, with typhoon signal no. 3 raised in Metro Manila. Typhoon Reming was to pass through in the evening. It was one of the rare occasions for all family members to be at home on a weekday.

Angelo was to drive the family van. Ever the doting aunts and uncles, the kids were excited to go out with Angelo’s kids. While we were getting ready, our neighbor with whom we share the driveway, needed to go out. No choice but to call Angelo, who lives a few houses away, to back the car out of the driveway. No one else among my kids was allowed to drive yet. Vince has recently completed his driving lessons, while BA had a few more sessions for driving lessons. But they still need a lot of practice, which my husband told them would take some time.

The Scratcccchhhh

As soon as Vince put down the phone, I saw him and Alan, Jr bringing the car key, and rushing to the driveway. I presumed that Angelo had asked them to bring the car key outside. Before I knew it, Alan Jr. was announcing that “the car had been scratched!”, and that Vince was the one who backed the car out of the driveway. I could not believe what I heard, and had to see for myself what damage has been done. I saw the car outside the driveway, by the roadside, with its ugly scratches by the left bumper and headlight. I was naturally disappointed, and felt bad. Imagine, a car the family had long waited for, only a few weeks old, still without a license plate, scratched!

I could not help but say, “Vince, why did you do it? That was what I have been telling you and your siblings all the time—not to break your Dad’s trust.” For the first time, I saw regret and sadness all over Vince’s face, a sadness which breaks a mother’s heart, a sadness difficult to contend with.

The other kids felt very bad about it. BA on first thought felt that because of the incident, it would take some time before their dad would allow them to drive—on some occasions, he has let them drive the car, but with him in the passenger seat.

What If?

I found Alan, Jr. in the boys’ room, sulking. I learned from him that when Vince drove the car, Alan, Jr was in the passenger seat. He was sad. Again, I was aghast, and the what ifs came to my mind. What if there were other cars coming, and while backing the car out of the driveway, it could have collided with another car. What if Vince didn’t see a person passing by, and the person would have been hit? So many what ifs, so difficult to think about.

The girls were also sad, sad for Vince, sad for their Dad, and sad for me. This was a family crisis after all. Angelo did not scold Vince. Being the big brother, he perhaps understood the surge of adrenalin in Vince, when he decided to run the car. Angelo assessed the damage to the car as very minor, but said that “Dad has to know what happened”.

Having the scratch removed without my husband knowing it was out of the question. I told Vince we had to tell his dad the truth, difficult though it may be. We will also not charge against insurance. It may have been a minor damage, but the sad truth was that he has disobeyed the rules and broken our trust. On the other hand, I had to console him, to assure him that what was important was that he owns up to his actions, be sorry, and not to repeat the same mistake again. I had to convince him to come to the house so that he would be there when I talked with his Dad.

Trip Cancelled

I cancelled the trip to Makati, and called my husband to break the news. Naturally, he was angry, though he said he that at the back of his mind, he had already thought about the possibility of Vince taking the car without permission. It was like, it was bound to happen. He asked to talk with Vince. I left Vince to talk with his Dad alone on the phone, and to give him space. When I came back, they have finished talking. He said that his Dad was angry, and told him that he would not go home yet. I just sat with him, no words were spoken.

I was not prepared to deal with my husband when he came home. I thought he would come home late in the evening. I didn’t know what to expect. He was cool, no words about the incident were spoken. We had dinner, and I thought, what next?

We said the family prayers together, kissed each other goodnight, like we always do every night. I didn’t know what really happened that night, I was too sleepy to care.

Forgiveness

I learned about it only the next day after coming from the mall. BA asked me if I have read Vince’s blog. I said, “no”. The other siblings asked me the same question, with the naughty smile on their faces. Together, we read it. I was touched. We also read BA’s blog, we now call him, BA, the Dreamer.

We always talk about a mother’s love, I even encountered a quote which says,

A mother’s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, and it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking.

but what about a father’s love? Vince’s version of the story tells us all—a story of love and forgiveness, particularly his Dad’s.

Hugging my pillow with my eyes closed, I had no idea who went in. The person bent down, pulled my down and gave me the daddy-kiss with the rough facial hair. I stood up and hugged him tightly, cried on his shoulder and said “I’m sorry Dad.” I was ready for whatever scolding he had for me. But instead, he hugged me back and said “It’s okay.” I still felt it wasn’t and I just let it all out.

Now, I feel much better, knowing that I handled the situation as mature as I can and learning my lesson. And of course, because of my parents’ understanding and forgiveness.

The anger, sadness and hurt in the family were gone long before The Scratcccchhhh was removed. And I can only thank the good Lord for the blessing of love in the family!