The Real Middle Child–Happy 19th Birthday Vince!

Posted on September 27, 2008
Filed Under Celebration, Faith and Spirituality, Parenting and Family | Viewed 335 times

A middle child is a loner, in want of parental attention, insecure, lacks drive, feels out of place, have trouble keeping a relationship because of lack of interest, simply works enough, does not work well under pressure, etc—what a stereotype of a middle child.

Today, 27 September marks the 19th birthday of Vince, my middle child—the real middle child (he is in the middle of 3 elder siblings and 3 younger ones). When I look at the list above, and assess them one by one against what Vince is today, it seems to me that Vince is not a middle child after all.

Vince is not a loner—he has hundreds of friends, he is a social person; he seems not in want of personal attention—he gives me personal attention; he is not insecure—he seems to be the most BSS (bilib sa sarili—believing in oneself) person in the Racoma family of 7.

See how he introduces himself in Multiply—does it show any trace of not believing in himself? “Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.” (from the movie-V for Vendetta)

He does not lack drive—he is a leader himself; he does not feel out of place—he is “in”; he does not have trouble keeping a relationship—he and Steph have been making beautiful dance and music together for about 5 years now; he does not work enough—he works more than enough; pressure is not his enemy—he works well under pressure, and many more.

Could it be that because he is a middle child, that he has done all things possible to overcome all of the traits that are the stereotype of a middle child? In that case, I am very thankful to him—I must have focused in the past on the outstanding achievements of the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd children, and given more attention to the 7th, 6th and 5th. It must have been so stressful for him to have 2 younger sisters and 1 younger brother when he was 7 years old (aged 5, 3 and 1) and 2 kuyas and an ate (aged 16, 13 and 8), that his auto-mechanism was to fend for himself—find his own place in the family while growing up. And he did beautifully well. Except for a few misunderstandings with Vince, I do not remember having any major problem with him.

He dropped out of nursery class twice, was a Prep student in the Ateneo at aged 7, probably one of the eldest in his batch, and from then, was on his own with his studies, reaping honors year after year, leading his classmates in various activities, was in the Student Council, and in high school oversaw a lot of in co- and extra-curricular activities. His teachers were so proud of him, so muti-talented was he (theater, dance, music, math, even football) and so reliable was he, that he was one who the teachers run to for trouble shooting, “maasahan sya”, that was how they felt. He also stands up for what he believes in.

Vince is now a 1st year student at the University of the Philippines, taking up BSBA. Still, he is a true blue Atenean, seeing to it that he attends every Ateneo UAAP game, always manages to get tickets for himself, and most of the time for the family. He is walking proof of one who tries his best to strive to live up to the 5 Cs inspired by the Ignatian tradition of (1) being CHRIST-CENTERED, intellectually and academically competent, (2) having a well-formed CONSCIENCE with the courage to defend what is right and to right what is wrong; (3) having COMPASSION for others, especially the poor and disadvantaged—a compassion that leads him to a life of service and work for justice and peace; (4) is COMPETENT; and (5) will live out his COMMITMENT to his mission in life; to God and to society.

HAPPY LOVING 19TH, VINCE, my real middle child, you make us proud! We love you, and super GOD bless!

Comments

10 Responses to “The Real Middle Child–Happy 19th Birthday Vince!”

Gigi on September 27th, 2008 12:19 am

It must be awesome to have 7 well-grounded kids. And it’s great you’re celebrating Vince’s birthday with a “tribute post”. He must feel loved very much.

And yes, now that you mentioned it… The 1K for the Nature trip seem expensive – the transpo isn’t included yet.

I will keep reading – so I may learn from another great mom!
Vince on September 27th, 2008 3:03 am

Thanks Mommy! Love you po!
Kyels on September 27th, 2008 10:17 am

Happy Birthday to Vince! All the best in everything to him and God bless!

I do understand the feelings of being the middle child even though I’m the eldest b/c sometimes my brother tells me how he feels since he’s the middle child and though my parents treat us all the same he still has some thoughts of his own.
Chato on September 27th, 2008 11:48 am

Happy Birthday Vince! Thank you for being a grat kuya! I love you forever! >:D< – chato
Belle on September 28th, 2008 1:24 am

happy birthday Vince! i think that being a middle child is great because you are surrounded with love and support. now, i wish i didn’t stop on 2 kids.
francesca on September 28th, 2008 4:29 am

Ka edad siya ni anjo ko.
I feel, siya bunso in your heart, despite middle born siya between his siblings.

I like the name too. Vince.
Da vinci, in italian!
lady cess on September 28th, 2008 8:25 pm

belated happy birthday vince!
soulsheik on September 29th, 2008 1:26 am

Stereotyping is so typical. Vince is atypical. I’m the eldest among my sibling. I love my brother and two sisters to the bone.

Stereotyping for me is a bit like horoscope. Hit or miss generalized predictions and still subject to personal interpretation. I donot subscribe to this.

Observing my cousins. Middle childs do tend to be the referees and peace advocates.

God bless your family Dine.
annamanila on September 29th, 2008 10:05 am

Is Vince— vigilant, vivacious, vibrant, victorious von vivant, for real? I have seen him a couple of times and yes, he seems to be the vonafide thing. He is everything you have said he is. Happy virthday to Vince and congrats to the equally vibrant mom.
Micamyx on September 29th, 2008 3:04 pm

Belated happy birthday to you, Vince! Salamat din sa paghatid dati sa MRT station hehe