The Art of Parenting–A Two-Way Relationship
Posted on May 5, 2007
Filed Under Blogging and the Internet, LIFE, Parenting and Family | Viewed 3048 times
It’s almost 7 months now since I took early retirement, and almost 6 months since I started blogging. As I mentioned in an earlier post, blogging has made retirement easy for me. No transition, no regrets, no post-retirement blues, no sadness, ALL joy—I am doing what I like doing most—writing, my passion.
It was during the early months that I learned the ropes of logging in, writing posts, publishing, posting pictures, linking, etc. Before that, son J Angelo would coax me, “Write an article, mom, I will take care of the rest. It is important that you regularly fill in your site with content.” I felt pampered—with the thought that someone would do the posting for me, matching pictures and all, including introducing me to the blogosphere through posts and links.
A few months down the road, I noticed that J Angelo would not post my articles as promptly as before, until I tried to do the posting myself, even if the layout was horrible in terms of spacing, underlining, etc. The perfectionist that I was, I would bug him until he would do the necessary to make my post look neat. He would patiently show me how to do things, and spend time guiding me. I told him it was easier for both of us if he did those things himself, anyway, I didn’t want to learn those techie things anymore. He told me I should learn.
So, when one uses Word and transfers the document to Wordpress, a lot of time was wasted to clean up those Word prompts. Wordpress only needs basic html signs (the techie challenged that I was, I did not even know what html was!). J Angelo advised me either to work straight in Wordpress or transfer the article in Notepad, then to Wordpress. He has taught me a lot of things, including inspiring me to replicate what he was doing, professionally.
He was my child, I told myself. He should do as I told him, at least to reciprocate the many years that I took care of him, nurtured him, sent him to school, guided him through his early married life. I should not get such shabby treatment from him.
Soon I realized that J Angelo’s not acting on all my caprices in terms of posting articles was his way of showing me how to become independent in my blogging—talk about handling parents. Life as a parent is not a one-way relationship, after all. It is not only about parenting—being a parent to a child. It is also the other way around—being at the receiving end (child to a parent), as what J Angelo was doing. He had to show his parent, at least me, his mom, how to do things my way, how to become independent in some ways.
And I continue to learn not only Wordpress (Wordpress is only “symbolic”), but the art of parenting as well. I am now caught in the middle—being a parent to a young kid (10), to teenagers (14, 16, 17 and 19), to a young adult (23) and to young adults (son/daughter-in-law, both 26, going 27)—as a pillar of support to the young ones and as an example to the older ones, firm one moment, soft the next, but always loving.
The art of parenting includes learning how to listen to the child, be him/her a young child or an adult, being sensitive to his feelings and needs. The art of parenting is so many things, expected and unexpected. The art of parenting is limitless, a two-way relationship.
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Dine Racoma is Sexy Mom, a Filipina doing what she likes best—writing, her passion. She writes freelance, does research, advises on new media, and manages a virtual assistance office for home-based jobs. A mother of 7 (what joy!) foremost, a wife, MIL, grandma to 2 pretty girls and an angel in heaven, sister, daughter, friend. Was in the corporate world for 27 years, the first 5 as Executive Secretary to an affiliate of the country’s biggest drug chain, and the last 22 as an international civil servant in an international development bank with HQ in Manila. Traveled extensively to many countries bringing about rich experiences and lessons learned to share with dear Readers. All these—in The D Spot
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give and take. what’s a family if there’s no mutualism that runs through every member? I am lucky because I know that in the family I came from, parent-children relationship is two-way.
Hello sexy mom,
I don’t know, when i read your post about family, kids and self…........
i feel, i have also, a little bit the same as yours….nor that i have no married kids, a grandma, mom-in-law….
But the way, how the kids act and reply to what we want to be and what we want for them,,,,,,,,,i heard also some words that gives me hurt…..
That one time, i answer to sascha,( he’s 18th on July 6, which here it is already volljährig…..full-age? like we parents, we have a right maybe 20% on them and they have 80% already…....)
“na ja, while you are already old enough, you answer to your mom like that…......” then, maybe he realized, then he said, “I am sorry”......
Sometimes the kids think they are old enough, that they have already right what they want to do or say….....
But through communication, they think that they have to respect us and control also their self…
for me, it is not easy to discipline a child, the way to show them what are good and bad…....to explain them….....and to answers all their Why,What,When,Where,Wo´s….......
Thank you again, Dine, in all your post, i learned so many things that i can acquire at my daily life’s.
I am very thankful to have found your very Educational Site…..
More power to you and to your Blog…......
Have a nice and wonderful weekend to you n to your family.
That is indeed a really nice example of both parenting and blogging. I also coax some of my family members to start blogging especially my mother and my aunts. I also told them that I will try to help them as much as I can with techie stuff.
Anyway, have a nice weekend to you and to your family!
One of the benefits of parenting is that we teach our children about life and all that jazz and at the same time, learn from them. From them we get different points of views and learn how to look at perspectives with fresh eyes and minds.
Have a happy weekend.
Everything is always a two way relationship, no?
[:
Dine, ganyan din ang aking si Marco. At first, he was willing to help, but later, he told me to learn on my own. I tell him, what are you a web designer for, when you don’t even help your own mom with her blog! But he won’t budge. So here I am, struggling with my problematic site..
But on second thought, I remember when he was a kid. I too, would encourage him to do things on his own. Maybe he is just reversing the situation now. And maybe too, he means well, di ba? Because how can I learn indeed, if he is always at my beck and call.
Imagine if it is not two way. As a parent you would still do the best you can. No?
Lucky are those who have two way relationship in these changing times.
My children sometimes would jokingly say ‘hay hirap magpalaki ng magulang.’ Kung iisipin mo, there is a truth in it kasi, there are also a lot of things that parents do not know.
It’s nice to see some parents are not “old school” where they think that they know more than their kids. It’s really a two way street. You take care of your kids when they are young and they take care of you when you get old. That is how it should work. Thanks for dropping by my blog. I’ll link you if you don’t mind…:)
Parents support their children when they are young but then roles in change along the way. I just do love the complimentary relationship of parents and their children. I can’t imagine a one way relationship.
very inspiring thoughts on parenting. it reminded of my parents love for me, though at times, I took it for granted.
sexy mom:
that’s what my sis and i were talking regarding parents-children relationship—when we were younger, we usually coax our parents to buy or do things for us, but now it’s the other way around.
yes, it’s really give and take. it’s a silent rule. they used to do things for us, now it’s our turn to reciprocate the goodness they have given us, including letting them learn new things they’re unfamiliar with and helping them stand on their own.
my mom also has her own blog which i helped in setting up… i also told her to just write in Word and transfer to notepad before pasting in Wordpress.
sexy mom: true true. do share your mom’s blog with us, dear Carey.
I’m teaching my 74-year old Dad to blog. Uh-ohs! He doesn’t even know how to type and gets me or my Mom to type it up (my Mom on the old Olympia typewritter). Getting my Dad online is my summer project – I’m chronicling this in my work blog. It’s a huge challenge! :p
sexy mom: that’s indeed a challenge, Aileen…am interested of the progress which i will look in your work blog.
i agree, even if my kids are still young (13 & 11) i learn a lesson or two from them…makes life easier for all of us if it’s a give and take set up at home
ur sure lucky to have a son like him, since he really took the time to teach u all those stuff. and look at the finish product now? a site frequented by a lot of people, not only for its good reads but as well as for the fact that it is very nice to the eyes.
Another fine parenting read from the sexy mom! Yes, it’s one for bring up parent. They learn from us and they teach us .. don’t they. You taught them to be independent … they won’t allow you not to be. hehehe
Very true Dine. I realized that parents can also learn vital things from their children. It’s a give and take relationship, one complements the other and vise versa. You can even say it’s a synergy of sorts.
I realized that even though my son is very young, I still learn many things from him like how to be more patient, understand and giving. He makes me realize my flaws and I always try to improve.
Thanks for visiting my photo hunt. It’s a lovely weekly meme. You are given the topic/theme in advance so you could take photos about them. Photos shared on photo hunt are taken by the participants themselves. If you are interested, you may visit this site:
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it’s give and take, exactly. nice read.. now you remind me, im acting like the mom for my mom sometimes without forgetting that im the daughter hehe.
Time is really changing…anak na nagtuturo sa magulang
! Kidding aside, parenting is a two way relationship, a family is composed of parents & children, without the help of each other family life won’t work! One needs to speak the other one needs to listen and vice versa !
hahaha! parang kami ng mama at papa ko to ah. hahaha!
Hi, Dine,
Coincidence or not, I just had to “consult” with my eldest son cuz something “happened” to my computer I couldn’t post anything! Life is a cycle talaga, di ba?
Princess
That’s wonderful! Now I wonder what I’ve taught my Mom tuloy. Meron kaya? Hehe.
I’m just starting on the road to parenthood but as early as now my baby girl is teaching me a lot about infinite patience. I know I’m in for more lessons ahead.
A parent who is eager to learn from her own child? How refreshing. I should definitely have this in mind when my daughter is old enough. As it is, she’s only 2 years old and yet I’ve learned a lot from her, her verve is just so infectious.
I couldn’t agree more, sexymom. That is also what I learned through my own experience. We teach our children, love and nurture them. And in return I also learn a lot of things from them, not just the techie stuff, but also the other stuff that life is made of: how to be patient, unselfish, etc. And in return also they treat you the way you treat them. I’m sometimes surprised when I hear a thank you or bless you when I sneeze. And then I’d realize that’s because I say those things to them.