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Pauline, Jester in My Heart

March 11th, 2007 by Sexy Mom · Viewed 1510 times · 34 Comments

Pauline, my 13 year old daughter (daughter #3, child #6 of 7) is the jester in my heart.

Surprisingly, she is the least I have written about. It’s obvious, one of her siblings observed—Pau and I seldom bond. While I go on one-on-gimmicks with the other kids, there were very rare opportunities that were together—just the two of us. Oh yes, there was that one fine day 2 weeks ago when we went to the mall to buy her a pair of rubber shoes, a comfortable one for her pep and dancing activities. Yes, we had a good time, and promised ourselves to do it more frequently.

The reason why is obvious—I have never brought her to hospital, because she has never gotten sick at all; nor have I sat down with her for school work (sometimes the kids would ask me questions on their assignments), because she doesn’t do homework at all (oh, joke—she does great in math, and it seems that her subject in school is only math); she doesn’t make “kulit” because she simply is too occupied with her textmates, friendster friends, multiply friends, and math homework; nor does she get bored, such that she would like to be out of the house most of the time—she spends her time tinkering with her classical and electric guitars and the piano. Her siblings were wondering why I bought her an electric guitar, when she didn’t even ask for it. No formal lessons for her, though, but she plays well. Credit it to her being independent, she has learnt playing the guitar online, from her brothers and friends, and piano—that must be in her genes.

She is into pep, dance, and gymnastics, following the footsteps of her sister, Monica. I am amazed at how she can bend and twist, and do back walks, front walks, carwheels, and head stands. Her stamina is so amazing! And it’s impressive—how fast she types text messages.

A few years ago, I had to write an appeal letter to her assistant school principal, to allow her to join theater, despite her low grades. She really wanted to join, and I felt I had to support her. We both had to sign a promise that if her grades did not improve the next grading period, she would be pulled out from theater. What a surprise—when her grades came out, they would qualify her for honors. The assistant principal could not believe what she saw.

When she cannot be fetched from school, she has friends who bring her home. She’s very independent—this must be her defense mechanism for middle child syndrome (like her other brother, Vince, whom I also haven’t written about). They say that less attention is given to middle children, as focus is with the eldest and youngest. With the first child, parents tend to be in the initial learning stage, and experimental stage. But the positive side is, there are less restrictions with middle children.

I am not sure if it was the same with me. I know I have treated them all with the same love and attention. And the last time I had a heart to heart talk with them, they said they never faulted me for working full time for the past 27 years, and travelling every now and then. What is important for us all is NOW. NOW is a bonus for all of us, because aside from the pervading love inthe family, I am now present physically.

Let’s go back to Pau. Pau is funny, she has a good disposition, she can laugh incessantly, her laughter contagious. But she can be quiet and still at times (for a few seconds, or a few minutes maximum), when stares in blank space. Pau loves her sisters fiercely—she would stay late nights with her sisters, just to listen, or comfort, or talk, or share secrets. She loves her brothers dearly, she would even treat them with her trademark massage. She loves her friends heartily, she would stay up late mornings writing palancas for them.

And contrary to what the others say, we do bond! Almost every morning, at 3 am (give or take a few minutes), she would send me a text message which says “mom”. Just that—no other message. And I know that she wants me to come to her room, to accompany her to sleep. I don’t know what it is with 3 am, she just feels uncomfortable when she wakes up at 3 am. Someone must be roaming the house, she thinks, and I tell her those must be the mice or cockroaches that she is mightily afraid of. And we have our silent moments, or giggling moments, or our love moments, until she falls asleep.

Just the thought of Pauline, wherever I am, makes me smile. How I love Pauline, she’s the jester in my heart.

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Tags: Fun · Parenting and Family

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