The D Spot

Children develop different values and behaviors as they grow older, and these values depend on the kind of values their parents instill on them. Whatever values they have developed primarily come from their observation of what their parents demonstrate.

Say for example, your small toddler knocks over his bowl of milk and cereals, spilling it onto the floor. You can scold your child, reprimand him for his clumsy ways and then proceed to complain every second about it. If you are of the impression that this will teach your child a lesson, then you are definitely wrong. In reality, the main thing that your child learns is how clumsy and awkward the situation was and how bad he has been. He cannot do anything but absorb every word that you thrust his way. You cannot retrieve your words back and those hurting words will stay with your child for a long time. Blaming and shaming your child, especially in front o other people, may make him to be more careful in the future, but this will only be out of fear and a sense of shame instead of a sense of responsibility.

As caring parents you must be careful on how you react to similar situations and most importantly, what to tell your children in case a misdeed happens. If you need to remind your child of his behavior, be more sensitive to his feelings. No amount of reprimanding can help your child if you start with a loud booming voice. You need to relax more often when you are in the house. You may not be aware of it, but your edgy feelings may come from your stresses in the office or from your own domestic issues. It is often good to check yourself every now and then as you impart good behavior to your children. It ought to be done in a relaxed manner, with no hint of negativities in your mind, no hurting words and no physical violence.

In teaching values to your children, you need to be able to use strategies which your children can own, and in the process say it for themselves. You can nag your children to be honest and true to people, but it is only when they adopt it as their own philosophy, at a young age, that it sticks to them for a long time. It is only in being honest yourselves and true to your words, as they see in your actions while they grow up that they can emulate honesty and truthfulness.

Keep in mind that you are instilling these values in their lives and giving them the advantages of making them their own. This can be done without any coercion. It can come naturally in them. You need to exercise real care in being sensitive to their feelings and making them feel that these are good values to adopt in life. This way they will be proud that they have developed good values, philosophies and ideas in the process, making them responsible and good individuals, with a caring and compassionate way of dealing with people.

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