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Happy Birthday to Me. Am 50! Am 50! Am 50!

February 15th, 2008 by Sexy Mom · Viewed 4522 times · 52 Comments

I have postponed writing this piece till the last moment, as words would not form to catch that truly awesome feeling of turning gold–a milestone in my life.

Years ago, I would have dreaded turning 50, imagined myself to be gray and weary, old and cranky, wobbly and wrinkly. It was always a guessing game when someone asked my age, or an indirect answer like, within the calendar (meaning at most 31), within the numbers in lotto (42, 45 or 49 depending on the draw), and I even anticipated saying bingo (when I near 70).

But suddenly when I started receving text messages, emails and phone calls in what a good friend coined as my “Dine Day”, my response was a hearty “Thank you. Am 50! Am 50! Am 50!”. To which I got reponses like “No you’re not!”, or “You are?”, or “You don’t look like it”, “Really?”, and from Angelo, “Mom, you’re only 40″, making me a mother at 12? I asked him.

As I was counting down the last 5 minutes, thinking it was only me and my MacBook, hoping some friends would join me, Noemi appeared on GTalk, and graciously joined me for the countdown, adding “precious” to my “golden”. I was surprised to have Pauline at YM at exactly midnight, saying “Happy Birthday Mom!” And I thought she was already asleep. When I told her, “Thank you. Am 50! Am 50! Am 50!”, she was shocked. All she could say was “omg! omg! omg! Mom, you’re old?” At 14 she seemed not to fathom what “50″ meant.

At 50, I know what 50 means. It’s more than a birthday celebrated with merrymaking. It’s first of all loving myself more, though not necessarily taking away the love I have in my heart for my family and friends–they will always be there. It’s knowing what I really want in my life in the process turning to positive actions the challenges, distractions and struggles that come my way–they will always be there. It’s having the confidence to speak out my thoughts despite the rebuttals–they will always be there. It’s being myself, delighting in small pleasures, my red lipstick and mascara–they will always be there. It’s being proud to be a Filipina, despite the fiascos and obvious failures of the clowns, manipulators and powers that be–they will always be there. And finally, it’s standing firm to my faith, fully trusting, fully accepting–He will always be there.

So, funfare please….HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Am 50! Am 50! Am 50!

Postscript: Just got BA‘s blogpost, called You’re My Golden Girl, and it touched me to the bone. Words well-written, as if representing the thoughts of my other 6, I couldn’t help but be emotional, tears flowing down my beautiful face. Yes, I thank God for my 7+1.

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Tags: Celebration · Faith and Spirituality · Friends · Fun · Parenting and Family

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