A True Confession: My Children are Abnormal
(Part 1)

Posted on November 22, 2006
Filed Under Parenting and Family | Viewed 5347 times

Meaning not normal?

Before I get any violent reactions, let me explain.

Time and again, these comments were said by some people when they listen to my stories or read about my experiences. In this age of materialism, mothers with no headaches at all in rearing children are a rarity (more so, for a mother of 7!). There would always be difficulties in raising children: peer pressure, not studying lessons or even no interest at all in schooling, flanking school, addiction to computer games, even alcoholism, and drugs, going out of dates, etc., etc.

I would always say, if it is of any consolation, my children are as normal as can be. I have been through a lot, raising 7 children in the last 26 years. The only difference perhaps, was, I was cool, I would not panic, and I would take each situation differently. All of us are hands on mothers – there is no single book which tells us what to do in various circumstances. Over the years, I have perhaps perfected the art of see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil when it comes to my children. I have always been a positive person; I never used the “rod”; the words “no, don’t do that” were used only in extreme cases. When trouble is about to come, I would anticipate it, and take action immediately. This is perhaps one of the reasons why the children have grown to be positive persons, not one of them rebelled. They take care of each other and are independent.

Angelo—once a psychiatric case

Angelo, at 26, is the eldest. Naturally, being the unico hijo, our world revolved around him, ever over protective, as they say, guarding him every single second, no mosquito was allowed to be within reach. At one point in time, there were 5 helpers in the house, two dedicated to him alone, and even while asleep, he should not be left alone. We didn’t realize it, but he has became boss in the household, every single word was a command. He was pampered. And through the years, he has developed these peculiarities, like, when wearing shirts, right hand first before left; when wearing shoes, right foot first before left; shorts should be with pockets; shirts with collars; shoes should be rubber shoes (leather shoes are no no – he even was ring bearer for my brother’s wedding, all in his formal clothes and tie, wearing his red Mickey Mouse pair of shoes!). One time, he hurt his small finger. Since then, for many weeks, no one was allowed to take off the band aid. If ever it was taken out while he was sleeping, it had to be replaced. After several weeks, we were aghast, the finger has wrinkled, the nail gangling – it was an ugly sight, so ugly that he could not look at it. At age 2, he was already playing the piano; at age 4, he was discussing physics in school, as indicated in his progress report card. And he was the most stubborn, most angry, most spoiled brat that I knew of, and I became paranoid. I asked myself – where did I go wrong? What was I lacking at?

An early attempt at a passport photo

Someone suggested that we consult a psychiatrist. For a few months, we went through regular psychiatric sessions, and that included me having separate sessions with the doctor. I found out through these sessions that I was not lacking in anything, not in love, not in attention, but I gave too much. When he asked for one, I would give two. I would anticipate what he wanted, etc., etc.

One day, during these sessions, I brought along Monica, who was then a toddler. Naturally, as a toddler, she would be wandering around the small office, with no direction, vying for attention. The doctor said, “Mommy, I suggest that you also let Monica undergo Angelo’s sessions.” That was it, I told myself, if this doctor calls Monica a psychiatric case, at age 2, then this is plain bullshit! Angelo, was after all, not a psychiatric case. It was a case of my being a paranoid.

In a testimonial in Friendster, one of his siblings, said, “Being a brother to Angelo is fun, a riot. He is a genius. If the faucet leaks, he fixes it; he fixes anything: cars, computers, door knobs, cell phones, etc.; he is everything, an economist, a plumber, a mechanic, technician, father, son, and most of all, a brother”. if slippers are damaged, he lends you a pair; if the brain is damaged – then that is him (joke)”.

When Angelo was about 10 years old, a music professor in UP who lives by the neighborhood, and who saw in him great talent, offered to give him piano lessons for free, at his convenience in his home. He had lessons for a while, but later he stopped taking lessons. He said, he didn’t need his lessons, as music was not for him to study; music for him was his “life”. In grade school, he taught guitar lessons in class. As past time, he would bike around the neighborhood, with a fighting rooster, whom he called “Ugis”, perched on the bike’s handlebar. During crazy moments, Monica and I would join him skateboarding at the height of the rains in the flooded areas near our home.
Angelo completed grade school at the Claret School and high school at the Ateneo, with honors, in between a dean’s lister in the UP School of Economics. One more semester to go, and he completes his masters degree in economics in UP. Now married, a responsible father to 2 lovely girls, 1-1/2 and 3, Angelo has become my mentor in my new career – as a writer and professional blogger.

Angelo may have been ABNORMAL once in his lifetime, but I am happy and proud of him. See where he is now! And what he has attained! His wife, Caren, agrees with me.

Comments

15 Responses to “A True Confession: My Children are Abnormal
(Part 1)”

My Mother Says I’m Abnormal! » The J Spot on November 22nd, 2006 3:35 pm

[...] Check it out here on her blog. [...]
BA on November 22nd, 2006 8:22 pm

Kelan mo ako gagawan ng ganito? Bwahahahahaha
BA on November 22nd, 2006 8:24 pm

Testimonial ko pala yung ni-refer mo. Hehehe
noemi on November 22nd, 2006 9:01 pm

what is the definition of “normal” anyway? There could just be passing phases in a child’s growth. I try not to label my children. I’ve made that mistake with my second daughter once . I thought she was slow but it turns out she’s brillant.
Vince on November 22nd, 2006 9:36 pm

uh-oh, can’t wait for mine! hahaha! Mom, about what Noemi said about her second daughter, it’s exactly how we thought of Pauline. hahaha!
dine on November 23rd, 2006 8:16 am

thanks, Naomi. as with most statements, the word “normal” is relative. what may be normal to me may not be normal to another. you are right, we should not “label” our children. i am using the word “abnormal”, mind you, with sense of humor in mind, and with the permission of “the 7”.
jaywalker on November 26th, 2006 5:09 pm

I wish my mother would write something like this. sniff sniff
Adam Mordo on November 28th, 2006 2:14 pm

I’ve only known Dyangelo (as we like to call him) for over a year and I have not once seen him as anything but abnormal and that’s a good thing, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to call him a friend. I’m a bit off my rocker too, see. You raised a good son Dine, and I mean that with every fiber of my abnormal self.
dine on December 5th, 2006 8:53 am

ha ha ha ha ha Adam! that makes you all a bunch of “abnormals”! kidding aside, thanks for the sweet note!
My Children Are Abnormal–The Alien Tongue (Part II) | The D Spot on February 7th, 2007 10:25 am

[...] Photo below shows her with boyfriend, Christian. You can read, A True Confession: My Children Are Abnormal (Part 1) here. [...]
annamanila on February 8th, 2007 11:51 pm

I know you have bright, gifted children, Dine. Bright, gifted are not really the norm. Congrats! My goodness the tongue stunts are awesome. Buti nagpakuha ng picture. I have a daughter who can touch her back with her toes. Lemme see .. where is she … I gotta get it right .. ay, she’s at boardiing school pala. Later, I will really describe how she does it.

There was this test that my friend emailed me— “How normal are you?” I was happy to find out i was far from normal. Normal is boring, I say.

I will read your other entries later. Oh my, you are very prolific.
Sexy Mom on February 9th, 2007 12:22 am

thanks, Anna. will look forward to reading about the stunt. if you have the test on “how normal are you”, would appreciate a copy. i would like to know how far i can go over normal.
feng on April 27th, 2007 4:38 pm

“The only difference perhaps, was, I was cool, I would not panic, and I would take each situation differently”
—that’s why i admire you the most sexy mom, the way you handle parenting situations like this one. i realize, it’s Ok for a parent to worry, but not to a point of being paranoid.

sexy mom: yes, dear, and really, patience is an “art”, we can make our way through it.
Happy Birthday, Angelo! : The D Spot on June 10th, 2007 5:26 am

[...] Who would ever think that the little boy, [...]
About Dine Racoma « Dine-a-Bite on July 29th, 2008 7:47 pm

[...] Dine Racoma known also as Sexy Mom is a Filipina, doing what she likes best—writing, her passion. She writes freelance, does research, advises on new media, and manages a virtual assistance office for home-based jobs. A mother of 7 (what joy!) foremost, a wife, MIL, grandma to 2 pretty girls and an angel in heaven, sister, daughter, friend. Was in the corporate world for 27 years, the first 5 as Executive Secretary to an affiliate of the country’s biggest drug chain, and the last 22 as an international civil servant in an international development bank with HQ in Manila. Traveled extensively to many countries bringing about rich experiences and lessons learned to share with dear Readers, all these she shares with her dear Readers in The D Spot. [...]